It is important to remember that
Social Engineering is preceded by Verbal Engineering. We change vocabulary, spin words, we use misleading arguments, we personally attack the speaker or writer and not the argument to change the thinking of society. If we say it long enough, people will accept it without critical thinking, which sadly is at a great minimum today.
In America we have managed to do something extraordinary: we’ve managed to make marriage, the most basic of all social institutions, controversial.
The last 60 years, since the end of World War II, differing ideologies have taken up the campaign against Marriage, sometimes directly, often more subtly. But lately the war on marriage has taken a new disturbing direct attack to eliminate marriage all together, as a legal and social institution. Palimony, domestic partnerships, civil unions, same sex unions attempt to take its place.
It started back in the early 1950’s and 1960’s. There was a male-dominated campaign launched by the Playboy philosophers against the man in the blue suit who went to work for a faceless corporation to support a wife and children living in the suburbs. They offered instead- free and uncommitted love. By the late 1960’s early 1970’s some radical women took up the fight alongside of population controllers, and sexual revolutionaries. Marriage was then seen as a noose around the neck of men, it enslaved women and abused children, and most importantly, undermined capitalism.
And at the same time, in 1972 the influential feminist sociologist Jessie Bernard wrote “
The Future of Marriage.” She postulated that in every marriage, there are two: his and hers. While
his marriage brought him health, esteem and psychological well-being,
her marriage brought her constraint, depression, anxiety and psychological danger. Even today, there are still studies that say marriage is detrimental to women.
At the same time Bernard was writing, the divorce revolution was in full throttle. Marriage cannot be a lifelong commitment, but only an open choice. Civil laws made the marriage contract unenforceable and divorce became the individual’s right. There were uncontested divorces, and no-fault divorces as
well.
At the same time, unwed mothers were told by counselors, clergy, medical professionals that having a baby was not a good enough reason to get married, not even if you loved the father.
For many American women, marriage and motherhood were seen as separate and unrelated. During the 1970’s, personal autonomy and it joys were more important than family life.
Another big factor in the dismantling of marriage came through the TV shows at the time. Most of the shows were situational comedies. We laughed with
All in the Family,
Soap, Maude and
One Day at a Time. But while we were laughing, people’s ideas were changing radically. During the 1970’s the TV campaign against marriage touted personal autonomy.
There was the beginning of the very strong campaign for living together. Why bother to get married, after all marriage is just signing a piece of paper. Again, laws were enacted that were against the benefit of marriage especially tax laws. And so the campaign continues today, they are muddling up the waters, purposely confusing the nature of marriage.